Two years ago, I realised I did. And it wasn’t all that satisfying. I could see how I’d long cemented myself into certain circumstances and for all the wrong reasons.
Prior to arriving at this awareness, however, I’d invested decades into building a life of stability and security (and therefore predictability).
And with the fresh trauma of living through the recent waves of worldwide mania, my instinct was to double down on safety. Or perceived safety, to be more accurate.
I will never regret taking that necessary time to get my feet on solid ground again.
But once I dusted myself down, I was able to fully acknowledge a few truths about life and how precious it is, and that my path had to change.
Here’s how I went about it…
My go-to methods for working through trauma involved many things, from embodiment practices, journaling and deep self-care to boundary setting, inner child healing and shadow integration. This time I stepped things up with some radical commitment to truth and especially analysing my own self-deceptions.
Recognising that it had always been my trauma response to seek shelter under the responsibility of someone else, and having now healed more deeply than ever, I knew I no longer needed safety in the same way as before.
I’d finally dropped those exhausting bids for survival; the people pleasing and self-deprecation, rescuing others to feel stronger in myself, swallowing down resentments and generally allowing myself to be controlled every which way by fear.
I was ready to thrive in my own authority.
I needed vitality. Aware and alert in a resourceful way, trusting my ability to navigate hardship and adversity, I wanted to feel my blood coursing through my veins again – this time from excitement and curiosity, pen poised to write fresh adventures into my daily existence.
I accepted that my marriage was over, my business needed an overhaul and I would be figuring out how all of this would fit together with raising my children in the most uncertain of times. And here I am, spinning many plates but feeling very much alive.
We’ve all been through great plot twists since 2020, and now is the time for reflection, to see whether what’s laid out for you is genuinely how you want your life story to unfold. You can zoom out for a wider perspective or zoom in to feel what another 10,000 days might feel like on your current trajectory.
Maybe you’re already in the throes of some big change and evolution but don’t yet know how to navigate it all. You want to be the author of your own life but where do you begin making sure your compass is set in the right direction?
A key place to start is by truly connecting with your values – grab this simple workbook to help you (no sign-up necessary):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PUTMgvgZmCWL_dAq9nxusp7gXEslCwWt/view?usp=sharing
So where are you heading in life currently? Send me an email – I would love to hear your story so far!